Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Layer upon layer - He is tearing them back.

One foot falls in front of the other, the weight of my body presses my bare feet to the cold cement. As I walk up the road, I feel the sun shining on the back of my neck. My backpack, filled with my bible and notes, weighs me down. As I walk, I close my eyes and recite verses that God has put in my mind. I think of how he has blessed me and how he has grown me. I talk to him about my struggles, and then, I realize.....

I started talking to myself.
I feel as if there are many people who do this. I know for a fact that I do this a lot. 
I begin to listen and really think about what I am saying. 
I am sad at what I realize, and quite frankly, sad that I am sad about it. 

I find myself pretending to be two people, I realize I do this often.
I am talking to an "imaginary friend", making up struggles they may be having and then encouraging them. 
I then find myself talking to them about MY OWN struggles and blessing and then I try to encourage myself through this "imaginary friend".  

While thinking about all this, I get pretty sad. 
I think about how I have always LONGED to have a close friend that I can just be there to encourage and have her there to encourage me. Don't get me wrong, I have encouraging friends, just not a friend who knows me for me and that God has put there for that purpose.
This all made me sad.
I think because my flesh longs for that "reliance in "someone"'. 
My souls wants to encourage....and be encouraged....all the time.

I then realize, in a way, I am sinning through this.
God put me in the circumstances I am in for a reason, He will use this all to his glory. AND, I don't need someone to 'rely on' when I have God. He is the ultimate encourager anyways.
What ever happened to being content in all circumstances? 

I write this post because God is good. God is slowly peeling back layers to my mind that I didn't know where there. 
God is showing me how I can rely on him in all things.
God is teaching me that he will use everything to his Glory.

If God has blessed you with a friend, a bosom friend, Thank him. Praise him for it. Also remember not to replace God with that friend.
If God hasn't, Thank him. Praise him for it! 

Remember, In EVERYTHING, Give thanks!


  1. thoughts I have had many times. People come and go, If I am lonely, It can only mean that I do not know God as I should.

    (I think the same thing goes for boredom. "I can tell how much God you have by how much entertainment you need" -Paul Washer)

    Does that mean I shouldn't talk to my imaginary friend though? :P

  2. "It only means that I don't know God as I should" YES!! Right on.

    Oh, btw, Imaginary friends are the best. almost as cool as Paul Washer! :) Never heard him say that before, but oh boy, is he right!