The clock read 12:53....
The night air was cold, the moon was shining ,and the stars were twinkling. I was all alone. My family all lie asleep in their beds as I sat there....on the roof.
My roof is my place of peace. I go there when I am happy. When I am sad. When I am seeking. And, I often I find myself there when I am finding.
Quite frankly, this time, I found myself...depressed. Kinda worthless.
I found myself..... in the valley of Desperation.
Each of us come from many walks of life. We have many different things taking place and happening in our lives. Sometimes, things no one else can understand, no matter how hard they try. But, tho we all have such different circumstances, for each one of us, God's Children, He wants to get us to the top of the highest mountain. You see, We will have to climb many mountains to get there. There will be a lot of seeking and a lot of things will happen that we aren't expecting. We climb these mountains by faith.
But then, Sometimes we go through valleys. Valleys that prepare us to climb the mountain ahead. Valleys that seem dry and weary. Valleys filled with fog. A thick cloud we cant see through. You don't know how long the valley is or when you will reach the mountain. You can't see your next step. You can't see through the fog. Yet, You have faith that your father is right there next to you, leading you.
"I will never leave you or forsake you" (Heb 13:5)
As I sit there, on my roof, I begin to feel tears trickling down my face. I look up into the heavens just calling out to my God. So many things left my mouth...
"Lord, Why have you left me here alone?"
" I have such a willing and eager heart to serve you, why do you keep closing all my doors?"
"You say that the Joy you give us is your strength, Where is my strength Lord?"
"Lord, I know you have a plan for my life. This cannot be it"
I begin to listen to these words leaving my mouth. Tears flow from my eyes even faster. Why am I not content and faithful with where I am? What are you trying to teach me"prepare me for" for climbing that next mountain ahead?
Words began flowing from my mouth again. Words much different from the first. Words with a beautiful melody. Words that I learned as a small child and often looked past the meaning of them... Words like these....
"My God is so good. God is so good. God is so good, He's so good to me.
He Loves me so. He loves me so. He loves me so, cuz He's so good to me.
He cares for me. He cares for me. He cares for me, cuz He's so good to me."
During these times, I sometimes struggle to remember God’s promise to me and you. And yet that is exactly what faith calls for and requires. It is easy to hold on and celebrate God’s plans when the picture to the natural man looks rosy and wonderful. It is faith to look for the light even through those valleys of Desperation. It is faith to say and hold to saying and choosing to the Father when he says to me and to you: “
I know the plans I have for you,
declares the Lord,
plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Lord, I believe – Help my unbelief
""Lead me in your way everlasting."(Pslam 139:24) Lead me through this valley and prepare me for the mountain ahead"